Charlie Sheen’s Winning Recipes from Charlie Sheen, Matt and Oz,

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On Charlie Sheen’s new cooking show; Winning Recipes, Charlie shows you how to cook using all of the power of a warlock. 

March 09, 2011

7.4m Views 

Starring Charlie Sheen
Directed by Matt Villines & Osmany Rodriguez
Written by Lauren Palmigiano & Chris Henchy
Edited by Pat Bishop & Danny Jelinek
Produced by Christin Trogan
Executive Producer: Mike Farah
Co-Producer: Natalie Kenly
Director of Photography: Kevin Atkinson
B-Camera Operator: Brian Lane
C-Camera Operator: Tony Lopez-Cepero
Production Design: Kevin Oestenstad
Grips: Jay Guffey & Elliot Dickerhoof
Sound: Ryan Kaiser
Makeup: Sara Irving
Special thanks to J.D. Walsh
Extra Special Thanks to Wynter Mitchell (@kweeneverything)

7,447,652

March 09, 2011

[music] 
[growling tiger] 
Hello. I’m Charlie 
Sheen, and this 
Charlie Sheen: is Charlie Sheen’s 
winning recipes. 
Charlie Sheen: Yes, I’m doing a 
cooking show. Why? 
Charlie Sheen: Because, if you 
haven’t noticed, 
Charlie Sheen: I’m winning television 
right now. 
Charlie Sheen: My plan is to be the 
first person to 
Charlie Sheen: have made an appearance 
on every television 
Charlie Sheen: network, just like I 
was the first 
Charlie Sheen: person to get 1 
million twitter 
Charlie Sheen: followers in 24 hrs, 
[jaguar growling] 
Charlie Sheen: like I was the 
Charlie Sheen: first to build a 
rocket ship to 
Charlie Sheen: Cassiopeia using only 
my mind tools. 
Charlie Sheen: Here I come, food 
network. 
[swoosh] 
Charlie Sheen: Face it, I am living 
the life of a 
Charlie Sheen: rock star Vatican 
assassin, and if 
Charlie Sheen: you eat like me, you 
can be like me. 
Charlie Sheen: If you aren’t thinking 
about what 
Charlie Sheen: you’re putting into your 
body, plan better. 
Charlie Sheen: The first decision 
you have to make is 
Charlie Sheen: which kitchen to use. 
The indoor 
Charlie Sheen: kitchen, so it’s in 
the “comfort zone”, 
Charlie Sheen: or the outdoor 
kitchen, because 
Charlie Sheen: the spirits of my 
Adonis ancestors can 
Charlie Sheen: fly above me and breathe 
fire onto the meal? 
[beam] 
Charlie Sheen: Outdoor wins. I just 
teleported myself here. 
[beam] 
Charlie Sheen: I did it again. 
Charlie Sheen: Now that you’re in 
the right kitchen, 
Charlie Sheen: you need to have 
the right tools. 
Charlie Sheen: This is not a spatula. 
It’s a cooking wand for a warlock! 
Charlie Sheen: This is not a bowl. 
It is a cauldron of awesomeness. 
[music] 
Charlie Sheen: All green things 
must die. 
Charlie Sheen: I’m going to start off 
by making a salad. 
Charlie Sheen: I got this tomato 
from my garden. 
Charlie Sheen: I grew this. My 
fingertips radiate 
Charlie Sheen: sunshine, and I water 
them with the 
Charlie Sheen: tears of a jaguar. 
[jaguar growling] 
Charlie Sheen: I will rinse off any 
nymphs or demons 
Charlie Sheen: that got on it while 
in my garden. 
Charlie Sheen: Salad is done. Some 
troll is going to 
Charlie Sheen: say, “That’s not a salad.” 
Oh really? 
Charlie Sheen: Looks like a tomato 
winning salad to me. 
Charlie Sheen: This won’t be a 
kosher meal, not 
Charlie Sheen: because I’m anti-semitic, 
but because 
Charlie Sheen: my tiger blood 
needs meat. 
Charlie Sheen: I killed this 
cow myself. 
Charlie Sheen: Winners stalk and kill 
their own food 
Charlie Sheen: without earthly 
weapons. 
Charlie Sheen: I’m not some mouth 
breather in a 
Charlie Sheen: drive-thru gorging my 
pie hole on mass 
Charlie Sheen: produced monkey grub. 
My body’s a lock 
Charlie Sheen: box of diamonds, 
uranium, and 
Charlie Sheen: assassin nobility. 
Charlie Sheen: Best way to 
cook a steak… 
Charlie Sheen: is with moderate 
to intense 
Charlie Sheen: observation. 
[bell rings] 
Charlie Sheen: Duh! Winning! 
Steak is done. 
Charlie Sheen: There’s only one thing 
you can drink 
Charlie Sheen: with a meal 
like this. 
Charlie Sheen: No wine in Silver 
Valley lodge. 
Charlie Sheen: This is tea made from 
ground dinosaur fossils. 
Charlie Sheen: Now for a couple more 
finishing touches. 
[classical music plays] 
Charlie Sheen: I don’t cook food, 
I will it. 
[inaudible] 
Charlie Sheen: My hands are rated 
by zagats. 
Charlie Sheen: Who am I? 
Charlie Sheen: Now garnish it with 
a secret ingredient. 
Charlie Sheen: Charlie Sheen. 
[laser] 
Charlie Sheen: Mmmm…tastes like winning. 
Charlie Sheen: (Voiceover) Warning! The taste 
of Charlie Sheen 
Charlie Sheen: (Voiceover) has the potential 
to cause your soul 
Charlie Sheen: (Voiceover) to weep 
and forfeit.